Mixtapes for Hookers


The World Cup Of Hunkiness, Day 1: RSA v. MEX
June 11, 2010, 8:28 am
Filed under: in praise of athletic beauty | Tags: , ,

[In which someone who knows nothing whatsoever about soccer tries to predict winners of World Cup matches, based entirely on the hunkiness of the players.  In this first round I’ll choose the three most aesthetically pleasing members of the roster and pick the winner that way.]

Day 1

South Africa v. Mexico

Goalkeeper Itumeleng Khune is one of the youngest players on the South African squad.  He’ll be twenty-three next week.  When not playing for the national squad he tends goal for the Kaizer Chiefs, who I’ve actually never heard of before but who I guess gave the Kaiser Chiefs their name.  Or else that’s quite the coincidence, ha ha.

Lance Davids is a midfielder who, judging from the stats on Wikipedia, is probably not one of the better players on the home team.  However, what a hunk!  I mean, this photo kind of captures him mid-funny face, and the way that he’s (presumably) about to kick the ball makes it look like he’s in the middle of a slapping fight.  But in the team photo–which, why are team photos so hard to come by on the internet?–he definitely stands out as my favorite.

And here’s Anele Ngcongca, who actually is the youngest member of the squad.  He spends his days in Belgium, playing for Genk, and he spends his nights in my dreams.  Or will now, maybe.

Here is 37-year old Mexican goalkeeper Oscar Perez Rojas, who is a hot hot hot hot hot hot man.  He is also, sadly, a hot hot hot hot hot hot man of whom no photos larger than 300X350 seem to exist.  But hubba hubba, right?

This is defender Francisco Javier Rodríguez, who used to have very big hair but who thankfully doesn’t anymore.  He’s 28 and 6’3″ and frankly rather cute.

But the dreamiest dreamboat on the Mexican team is surely Israel Castro, the 29-year old midfielder who normally plays for the Pumas. Those eyes! Those ears! That mouth!

Although South Africa is favored to in, I predict Mexico will win this one by a score of 4-2.


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