Mixtapes for Hookers

If I Were A Psychotic Murderer In A Horror Movie This Is Maybe What My Blog Might Look Like
February 19, 2010, 1:41 pm
Filed under: gay | Tags: , , , ,

I admire people who can stick to a concept, especially when it comes to blogging.  The gloomy joke behind Garfield Without Garfield may eventually wear thin after a while, but whoever writes it doesn’t seem to care; conceptual bloggers keep doing their thing until one day when they stop and move on to something else.  That takes dedication.  (Even if it’s just a ploy to get a giant book deal it still takes dedication.)  And actually, I think that level of dedication is way more intriguing than the content.  For instance, one soul’s commitment to commenting on the wardrobe choices of every single episode of Roseanne is way more interesting than that particular blog’s sometimes lackluster commentary.

My newest blog fixation is a blog called Lake Rats & Smokers, which was recommended to me by my Google Reader.  It’s on Tumblr and it’s been around for maybe six months.  It’s run by someone who may or may not be named JJ Bobson.  There’s no “about” section on the site and he doesn’t write any commentary with the photos he posts.  You can’t e-mail this person, whoever he is, and even Googling the name JJ Bobson comes up with few clues, unless he’s a hundred-year old scientist.  For someone internet savvy enough to (maybe) start a Tumblr under their own name there’s a surprisingly thin trail of internet crumbs.

The images Lake Rats & Smokers are almost all the same; ordinary-looking guys in the vicinity of a lake.  Usually they’re by the water or on a boat with their shirts offArmpits are a recurring theme.  Often the guys are drinking beer and rarely are they looking at the camera.  And, remarkably, nearly all the photos seem to be shot from just a few feet away, if that.  Many of them also appear to be shot from chest level, adding another layer of strangeness.

The guys in the photos only occasionally seem aware that they’re being photographed, and if they do they’re only posing in the way that people pose half-heartedly for friends who are maybe too camera-happy.  They’re not often smiling or flexing or doing whatever fratty boys normally do in photos.  There’s no hint whatsoever that these guys think they’re modeling, either.  But at the same time they must know, right?  I mean, if everyone’s on a small boat with their shirt off, presumably the photographer isn’t using a hidden camera.  Right?

The guys’ bodies are nice but only really remarkable for their ordinariness.  The guys are pretty solid-looking, in-shape in the real world but decidedly average by internet standards; they probably stay in shape by being outside and not by hanging out in a gym.  Largely they appear to be college-aged, though some seem older and some seem younger.  They’re rarely hairy and often sunburned.  But though this is a very show-offy site about guys in bathing suits, you rarely see so much as a hint of a bulge in their shorts; even the most Victorian among us would have trouble pinpointing the sexuality driving the site.  I’m sure JJ Hobson isn’t actually a psychopathic murderer because this is real life and real people don’t kill boatloads of boys and dump them in the nearest lake.  But with no other context to go by, I’m pretty sure the movie of this blog would be like a gay Friday The 13th.  Because this person is oddly committed to vagueness, to hints of summer-themed queerness that seem repressed to anyone who’s ever been within 500 feet of an Abercrobie catalog.  And yet there’s something else; he reblogs his own posts quite frequently, not absentmindedly uploading the same picture twice but by hitting the ‘reblog’ button over and over.

It’s all very innocent–I’m sure it’s all very innocent, right?–but it all gives me the willies anyway.

1 Comment so far
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I do think this is a most incredible website for proclaiming great wonders of Our God!

Comment by segoinsix

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