Mixtapes for Hookers

Personality Crisis
January 6, 2010, 8:58 am
Filed under: heterosexuals, hookers | Tags: , , ,

[NB: Since the news about Pat Bohannon broke, this post’s been getting a lot of hits.  But here’s a newer one from now (October 2010) with updated info.]

So, yeah.

Everybody and their cousin’s baby’s mother’s favorite sex blogger has already written about this, but those of you who come here for the music or the gay shit might not be aware of the giant brouhaha happening in the sex worker blog world right now.

Shortly before Christmas, I got a notification that I had a new Twitter follower named @AlexaRPDAFraud.  The Alexa in question, I knew, was Alexa DiCarlo from the Real Princess Diaries, a personal forum for her to talk about her life as an escort and former stripper.  I didn’t religiously follow her blog or anything, but we bonded once over a mutual affection for German pop singer Sarah Connor.  Alexa’s also commented here (which almost nobody ever does) and she posts links to breaking news stories on Twitter a lot.  That’s helpful to me as a news blogger, and I genuinely appreciate that she wrote about (and re-tweeted pretty much everything I wrote about) the prostitution issue in Rhode Island.

But, being a gay male in Rhode Island, I doubted that our paths would ever cross in real life.  So maybe that’s why it never occurred to me to question the truthfulness of her strip club stories.  (Also, it didn’t really matter to me.  Everyone exaggerates sometimes.  And, to be honest, I actually tend to gloss over a lot of smuttier details when reading female escort blogs.)

I looked at some of the links that @AlexaRPDAFraud was posting and some of his (or her) points made sense.  Some of Alexa’s writing was way over the top, it was true, and there were some inconsistencies which I, a very casual reader of the blog, probably would never have picked up on.

Then Monica Shores, editor of $pread Magazine, wrote an article about the “faux ho” phenomenon for Carnal Nation.  [Disclaimer: I have an article coming out in the next issue of $pread, albeit one I rather stupidly wrote under an alias.  And I write daily for Carnal Nation.  So, I don’t know, I might be biased about this. Although maybe not.  I’ll get to that.]

Monica interviewed Alexa and several other escort bloggers.  She’d told Alexa beforehand that the article was about the phenomenon of fake escort bloggers, and Alexa acknowledged when agreeing to the interview which, on her insistence, was done via e-mail.

Then the entire internet exploded.

Or it didn’t, really.   But the tiny, tiny corner of the internet devoted to sex worker blogs basically did.  Because all of a sudden everyone was posting like crazy about how clearly fake Alexa was. [Another disclaimer: Between my grandmother dying and Christmas I fell behind on following this, so I’m still catching up and might have missed some posts.]

Mistress Matisse gave Alexa the benefit of the doubt, offering suggestions on ways to prove that she was real.  The Sexademic, who’s actually in the sexuality studies department where Alexa is allegedly studying, says there’s no way she could possibly be real.  Trixie looked at Alexa from the rather unique perspective of a traffic-seeking cam girl.  Feminisnt took that opportunity to compare Alexa’s blogging to that of Amber Rhea, a non-sex worker who kind of gives the impression that she is.  (I don’t want to derail the conversation by getting into that, but I will say that there are about fifty angry comments on that post, and forming a strong opinion about Amber is very easy to do after, oh, about three seconds of reading her blog.)  Every post on every site has like a million comments from people, almost all of whom are sex workers and bloggers themselves and almost all of whom are really upset about something or other.  Which is understandable.

Kat, a west coast stripper, has an intelligently-written takedown of Alexa’s writing, and if you’re only going to read one post about this I highly recommend that one.  While I think she’s slightly off the mark about Alexa’s weird live-tweet sexcapade (because, come on, people go crazy about that Twitter shit) I think she’s right in guessing that the stripper poles shooting out of the ground/standing ovation story is a little far-fetched.

But as an outsider, which I guess I sort of am, I’m still pretty ambivalent about whether or not she’s real.  Did the fact that JT LeRoy was fake make The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things a less beautiful book? No, it did not.

Well, not unless you were one of the homeless queer kids in San Francisco, maybe, whose stories were exploited to create a literary cause celebre, one who used none of his/her/their fame or money to give back to the community he/she/they allegedly emerged from.  So while the controversy actually means very little to me, I can totally understand why escorts and strippers and sex work bloggers, especially those in San Francisco, might be pissed off.

But then along came Expose A Ho.

@AlexaRPDAFraud went away quickly; the Twitter account was deleted a day or two after Christmas.  Alexa’s blog also was “temporarily shut down.”  And then Expose A Ho appeared.

An anonymously written blog created in response to the Alexa thing, it offers to pay money for the real names and personal details about some of the sex workers who said bad things about Alexa.  It also promises to tell the escorts’ day-job employers about their careers, which seems mean-spirited and childish.  Expose A Ho claims to be far, far removed from the sex work industry, although if he or she really is then I don’t see what the point of starting a witch hunt is, aside from an urge to just be a nasty pain.

In a rather move that was surprising (to say the least) Carnal Nation defended Expose A Ho, using the incident as a means to announce new blog features which will be introduced on the site later this year.  All kinds of people, including Monica Shores from $pread, got upset about that; Sadie Lune did too, saying she no longer felt comfortable contributing to the site, Annie Sprinkle wrote in to protest, and Tess Danesi wrote in her blog about how she wished Carnal Nation would retract the story.

Carnal Nation actually, with permission, ended up reblogging Tess’s story.

The whole industry of sex blogging is young and small and very insular, and when you’re a part of a community that intensely small (and that intense generally) it’s very easy to forget that.  But Alexa’s site is up again, with a post about how she’s abandoning the site because she doesn’t have time for it anymore.

8 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Hi, thanks for the blog-love. Quite the little brou-ha-ha, wasn’t it? Personally – in spite of my offer – I do not think whoever is/was writing that blog was telling the truth about themselves.
What the truth really is? We’ll never know.

Comment by mistress matisse

I had no idea any of this shit was going on. Don’t sell yourself short, buddy. I learned a lot from this post and now I am on a pursuit. Thank you! This shitstorm is nothing short of fascinating. I have been hiding under a rock, clearly. This story has brought me back into the light.

Comment by J

I find it interesting that “ExposeaHo” appeared just as Alexa went on vacation, and disappeared as soon as the farewell post appeared.

There is and has always been such an arrogance and self-righteousness in Alexa’s writing, such a burning need to come across as a subject matter expert, that I suspect it won’t be long before “she” turns up elsewhere with a brand new persona. It will make for entertaining reading, I’m sure.

Comment by Bree

Is ExposeaHo really gone? I wasn’t sure if there was just a lag in posting. That’s good news, at least…

Comment by mixtapesforhookers

Started reading The Real Princess Diaries from the very beginning. Shit is hilarious!!! True or not (Probably Not), she uses the worst phrases. She’s trying to be serious, right? I love it. I want to be her/him/them.

Comment by J

I didn’t discover Alexa or RPD until easter this year, so it was well after this shitstorm erupted I only discovered that she/he/they had removed their site after coming in top spot of this years best sex bloggers. Im kinda surprised that the site returned after the things your reporting occurred.
None the less, fake, fraud or make believe that blog did have a positive effect on my sex life so I wont be whinging, but do feel sorry for those who were hurt by the whole thing

Comment by Kady

YES! Please someone start a site to expose all of the real names, addresses, family contact, phone numbers, ect. of these high risk low class last resorts. Let everyone know the real identities attached to such human filth. You could call it . . . “Blacklistedfromsociety”. They deserve no less. Maybe the police could chip in?

Comment by Ron Hill

Clearly Ron Hill was disappointed by his last appointment with an escort…

Comment by OG

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